Moving On

Throughout this year, its been one heck of a year, on which i should call as, the moving on year. I had so many grueling past relationship that was so messed up and decided to end it and move on. Its straight to my thoughts in the end that, I know myself that I can be in that position anymore. Sometimes, I have to know what is right for me and for others. Whenever you think that you love someone and you feel like you just cant be with that person anymore, because of any reasons that made you so, letting go is much better that having yourself to be guilty in every measures. The fact that you are giving that person a fair decision is so much better than making things hypocritical. Yes, as what the people of optimistic characteristics would say, any problems should be worked out. I did my role on that, and nothing changes for years. Instead of making things even more ugly and time-wasting, I just let go. It just felt not right. By the time, people would have weird thoughts about me but then i knw their true colors. The friendship was based on anything that in their favors. Theirs no point of blaming anyone, anymore. If theirs a problem both are put to blame, in relationship. The sad part is when people are trying to be nice to help but instead they're just messing things up more than it is. Sometimes, being a part of moving on is you cant get a hold to yourself about missing the things in the past. Who doesn't. Even I myself missed the times when I was so messed up with things apart from this anyway. But at this position the question remains: Whatever you're doing now, is it worth it in the end? Because, we are dealing with a person's feelings. Its a part of their life, its nothing to be played about. Love is about having a true honest and genuine feeling towards each other, not trying to be all heroic of being the best at taking their breath or heart away, and in the end you don't know how to handle that fragile thing.

This is the year of which I'm moving on to a new house. This house on which I am typing down my blog, has been servicing my family for 18 years. Roughly. We never moved out to anywhere because back to 18 years ago, we finally had a home, which is not rented as always. I still remember back when i was a kid, I was so happy to have a new house, it was so big and i was so happy about it. We moved in without any complete furnitures, the house was so clean, fresh and empty, we had small green rectangular table to have dinner together. In which brings tears to my eyes now. We were among the average people around. Back there, eventhough everything was so simple, we had time to be together around, being all happy, because we have nothing but each other to look upon. Through years, my dad started to work outstation, on which i knew that he had to move on from his work days in his ex office in which the boss was treating him so badly. This made him moved out, and finally get to be in the same position as that guy. God bless him... Everything was not the same anymore, which triggered myself to be somewhat unbalance in anything I was doing around half a decade ago. I wish things could turn out like this, or like that, then one statement had my mind on impact. I believe that, when we always take things for granted, whenever career love or anything, and treating it so much and love it more that we love God, He also can take it away whenever He likes. Love our God with all our heart with all our soul. Thats how i learned it best. He made us, sure we belong to Him too. What we have in this world is temporary. Sometimes we tend to think that it is unfair for us because we feel that we want to have the best in life. but i can tell you that if you believe in Him, and love him 1st and the most, all things will be given to you. Thats how i felt in years before and present. Perhaps, the non believers would think that there is no such thing as God's existance, but think again. Who created the universe? Who created the creator of the universe? Who created the creator of the creator of the universe? Then, as in the bible says, He is the alpha and the omega. The king of kings. To anything that starts as the core to the infinite core is Him. There comes belief as how He had said. Thats why, in anything we do, we have to realize that people around us, people we love, we must try to appreciate them as much as we can because we never know when they will be gone. The best thing is to pray to each other, because thats how God knows how much you love them. Try to appreciate what He has given to you. Because appreciating means showing your love to God. Just try to give my thoughts another read for twice and think deeply to the meanings. In any way around I'm myself am not a perfect person. I do mistakes often and again. Maybe this is the time I have come to good terms with my personal reluctance to be a good typist and write notes about things to improve about myself, or even the readers too. I may not have the best in advices, but I do have experiences that may help the more naive and the unrealized.

Today, in which i can say yesterday, our beloved reverend for 16 years had transfered to Miri to continue to serve the Lord in other town. In which is the part of moving on in life. We used to have him as our favorite reverend to be in charge in anything that our family wants him to do such as caroling, house blessing, thanksgiving and more... We had our farewell dinner and my dad's speech brought memories to my head about how much he was dedicated in his service. Sometimes, moving on is a process to become better in life and another mission from God to be able to reach to other places to touch lives and to bring people together with Him.

God bless all of you. :)